Tuesday, October 23, 2012

How to be a good muslim Husband


Assalaamu alaikum [peace be to you]

Yesterday, as I was surfing the net to read something about marital relationship in Islam, I found this nice article I want to share with you all: How To Be a Good Muslim Husband

Here's an article detailing the important things which Muslim men (or any man) should do as imperative duties and obligations towards their wives. these tips are being suggested while bearing in mind the specific dangers and risks that married individuals face, as a couple, in today's day and age.

Always emulate the behavior of the Prophet Mohammed -peace be upon him- with his wives:
The Prophet Muhammad overlooked his wives' mistakes, and tolerated their unreasonable behavior. he always ignored what he did not like about their actions, with a smile and patient silence...

Treat her with respect, especially during intimacy:
It is a sad fact that nowadays, when a man gets married, he has already seen a lot of porn or sexually graphic movie scenes, courtesy the different forms of media available to him to satisfy his curiosity, which poison his mind about how to treat a woman, much before he actually brings home a wife.

O Muslim Brother! That innocent girl you bring home has no affinity to that sultry siren you've watched on TV - she's vulnerable, innocent and scared. So be gentle and get her to relax, and don't cause any irreparable damage by being hasty. In Islam, a woman is a jewel -- a gem, which should be taken care of and treated with dignity and respect.
Instead of shouting or verbally reprimanding your wife for every mistake, just ignore her. If she is fighting with you or being unreasonable, you can always leave the room and not answer back, which is the best strategy. When you will ignore her for some time, she will willingly relinquish the behavior which angered you.

Remember that when a prostitute came to ask Allah's Messenger -peace be upon him- for monetary help, he helped her and did not treat her disrespectfully. What about you? Have there been times when you have seen or met a woman who tempted you, and you thought: "sl*t", or "wh*re"? Have you ever verbally or mentally used abusive words, such as "b*tch", for any woman? Do you believe, due to your cultural baggage, that women are inherently evil; that Eve tempted Adam to eat the forbidden fruit, that women should be locked up inside the house because they lead men astray when they go out? Do you believe that women are inferior to men? Do you believe that women are the basic cause of the prevalence of decadence and sin? Do you shout at your mother and sister for not serving you your food or coffee when you ask for it? If so, you really need to change your thinking and attitude towards women before you enter marriage, because a man, who has truly grasped the essence of Islamic teachings regarding the kind treatment of women, will never, ever answer the above questions in the affirmative. And if he does, it is highly likely that he will disrespect his wife, and not be able to keep her happy.

Your wife is a consultant, not a personal valet or slave:
The foremost quality which many Muslim men desire in a wife, after beauty and physical attractiveness, is that she be obedient and servile, and that she does their chores without being told e.g. ironing their clothes, cooking their meals, or doing the laundry.
However, it is a fact that there is a difference of opinion among Islamic scholars regarding whether it is obligatory or preferred for a wife to serve her husband. Majority declare it to be praiseworthy but not obligatory, even though most Muslim women happily do their household work themselves, without being asked.

The Prophet Mohammed -peace be upon him- did his personal chores himself. Therefore, the good Muslim husband truly appreciates the work his wife does around the house. If she forgets something, he overlooks it and remains silent. He also consults her in important matters before making the final decision e.g. naming their children, changing his job, making an investment, going on a trip, having his family members move in, or in even small matters such as what she'd like to order for herself when they eat out at a restaurant. He never overlooks her say in these matters.

Help her out in the household work:
Occasionally washing the dishes, vacuuming the carpets, making your own breakfast or tea (especially if your wife is asleep or not well), or cooking a simple meal will raise your status in your wife's eyes and increase love for you in her heart.

Praise her small gestures or good traits openly, especially before your family:
It takes only three small words to give your wife a compliment, and it doesn't have to be every day, but it will have an enormous impact on your marital relationship. Those three words could be "This tastes delicious", or "You look good"... Just don't overdo it because too much praise has a negative effect...

The article is too long. I can't write it all here, so if you're interested to read more, I suggest you follow this link "How To Be a Good Muslim Husband" By Sadaf Farooqi

Some people may argue saying that some Muslim husbands beat their wives and treat them badly. even if that's sadly true in some cases, I'd like you to notice that my aim is not to show how Muslim husbands are treating their wives. my aim is to show how Muslim husbands SHOULD be treating their wives. my article here has an educational purpose based on Islamic teachings.

I hope it helps some of you guys.

Peace be to you